Dear Sir ,
I am B.Tech from National Institute Of Technology ,Calicut in mechanical engineering and have work experience of 40 months in TCS, Asia's largest software consultancy. Did that impress you? Or you just wondering 'How come??!!'. Even I used to wonder in my engineering days, when my seniors from non IT stream made it to IT biggies. But I was not that motivated or driven. I just tumbled into TCS. So after 40 months into IT industry sometimes I wonder - what if I started my career at core sector, as I used to dream in my engineering days - in an enterprise with a chimney with smoke coming out of it, with sounds of machines , trucks, a chowkidar somewhere, workers smoking bidis in a corner. Quite an factory atmosphere , might not that cozy like an air conditioned IT office. But I guess that is where mechanical engineers belong to. That is where their purpose lies. AC atmosphere just make them lazy. Ironically nobody actually asked me to write an SOP before my engineering. So I never felt the need to think about the 'next big thing' after NIT. So I joined TCS. Wasted time in some meaningless works , And it took 3 years to realise that the 'time for change' has come. I must have dozed off in my cozy cubicle, in spite of the constant din made by managers sitting around me. Now I wonder what if I was asked to write an SOP before my engineering. I would have fixed my purpose long back. I might not take pain or gather words to write this impressive sop today.
Dear Sir, in next two years I will always be a good boy , work hard as I have saved enough energy in last 3 years. And you wont need to take pain for my placements. I will opt for OOPS(Opted Out Of Placements). TCS made me sure that I am too lazy to work under a boss. Better I would start as a shopkeeper. Selling has seemed to me such an easy way of making a living that sometimes I wonder why people bothered to do anything else. On market days , for instance , if I seat down before a bag of flour , with a scoop and a set of scales on one side , people will come, buy my flour and put money in my pocket. In fact it looks such an simple process that sometimes I wonder it wouldn't work if I try it!!!! :p:p. 'Jumping off the cliff' might not be that rosy sir. I just need to learn the confidence tricks in your institute over the next two years.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
A Le Chal Mujhko Sapno ki Nagar !!!!!
Ever you been to old Delhi? In the bylanes of Darya Ganj? In its narrow streets and crowded Meena Bajar? Did you experience the feelings of getting lost amidst the crowd? In the aroma of Karims? In the bustle and tinsel of the street around you? In the hawkers' shout,cars' horn, autowalas' howling, riksawalas' pa po? I was lost in a dream of course , one in which the settings has dropped. Looming ahead was the imposing facade of the red fort with its neat rows of windows and doorways, with the delicate intricacy of minaretes and arches. All these centuries later everything still stands , just like Mughals built it. Dynasties passed. The British have come and gone. And the building still the same and will outlast us all. I wondered if days here would be the same as well once I stop dreaming , or after centuries?
And then the electricity failed. A collective sigh rose into the air . And the great architectural work of Mughals around me plunged into darkness. The darkness abruptly swallowed the busy world around me. As if it plucked off the dark night and descended onto the streets. The moon hanged high and round above me like a sole surviving streetlight, beaming down its chadni.I closed my eyes and turned my face towards the sky and opened my mouth as if I could catch the chadni like rain. I stood there , observing the bustle of the street. Moonlit arches of red fort rose from the twilight ahead. I wondered if I could live in the days of Mughals. I wondered what it would feel to be inside the royal courts? I imagined Shah Jahan and his empress Mumtaj reclining at dusk. Mughal soldiers saluting in sync. Shah Jahan sashays past slowly with his Mumtaj, feeding her grapes, in the fort on the cushioned interior of the sheesh Mahal, followed by his musical entourage. Tansen came to life and descended singing from his poster , his lyrics ushering in the evening candles, one by one, each flame igniting a thousand images, in the mirrors embedded in the ceiling and walls. The bricks of the red fort light up like day.
Floodlights started coming on all around the floor. Then came the sound of a soft explosion from somewhere behind the fort. A single rocket rises silently into the sky.Its plume leaving a white trail against the blue-black night. An instant later a galaxy of sparks lights up the sky. More rockets begin to climb lazily, like fire stalks scaling the night and blossoming in bursts of orange, green and white.The flag emerges from its seclusion of night, its stripes rippling under the national colours unfurling above. 'Testing testing' someone said over a loudspeaker. The Nehru's voice cracked through the air, reprising his 1947 independence day speech. Gandhiji twirls his stuff and comes dancing right after. Sandstones lit up in patriotic cascades of white and green and orange.
And here we are, from the Mughals and the British to Gandhi and Nehru , all lined up for the grand final.The scene burst into Eastman color, the sky stretched to cinemascope . Gandhiji tapped his cane to the tune of the music, first at his feet , then at me , then at Mumtaj, then at the explosions above the red fort.I turned into shahenshah Mughal-E-Azam Shah Jahan, Rintu winked under the red and gold bridal regalia of Mumtaj.I looked down at Darya Ganj. For a moment I simply stared at Old Delhi. Trying to digest what happened.Flashes illuminated the arches of the fort as cannons being fired in salute from behind the wall. Lyrics of Tansen swelled up around us once again.
Cut to 2010. Perhaps I actually dozed off at the backseat in the JN stadium. Perhaps the karims lunch at Darya Ganj was little intoxicating. Rintu jolted me awake.CWG opening ceremony lights are fading off. Prince 'Shah Jahan' Charles and his Mumtaj along with Kalmadi 'Chacha' going down off the VIP enclave. Bapu went back into the 'Gandhi note', still smiling. Back at home , I fell asleep with the Tansen lyrics still swirling in my ears -
'Lat's go
Jiyo utho badho jeeto
Tera mera Jahaan let's go
Oh yaaron, yeh India bulaa liya
Diwaano yehIndia bulaa liya...bulaa liya'
And then the electricity failed. A collective sigh rose into the air . And the great architectural work of Mughals around me plunged into darkness. The darkness abruptly swallowed the busy world around me. As if it plucked off the dark night and descended onto the streets. The moon hanged high and round above me like a sole surviving streetlight, beaming down its chadni.I closed my eyes and turned my face towards the sky and opened my mouth as if I could catch the chadni like rain. I stood there , observing the bustle of the street. Moonlit arches of red fort rose from the twilight ahead. I wondered if I could live in the days of Mughals. I wondered what it would feel to be inside the royal courts? I imagined Shah Jahan and his empress Mumtaj reclining at dusk. Mughal soldiers saluting in sync. Shah Jahan sashays past slowly with his Mumtaj, feeding her grapes, in the fort on the cushioned interior of the sheesh Mahal, followed by his musical entourage. Tansen came to life and descended singing from his poster , his lyrics ushering in the evening candles, one by one, each flame igniting a thousand images, in the mirrors embedded in the ceiling and walls. The bricks of the red fort light up like day.
Floodlights started coming on all around the floor. Then came the sound of a soft explosion from somewhere behind the fort. A single rocket rises silently into the sky.Its plume leaving a white trail against the blue-black night. An instant later a galaxy of sparks lights up the sky. More rockets begin to climb lazily, like fire stalks scaling the night and blossoming in bursts of orange, green and white.The flag emerges from its seclusion of night, its stripes rippling under the national colours unfurling above. 'Testing testing' someone said over a loudspeaker. The Nehru's voice cracked through the air, reprising his 1947 independence day speech. Gandhiji twirls his stuff and comes dancing right after. Sandstones lit up in patriotic cascades of white and green and orange.
And here we are, from the Mughals and the British to Gandhi and Nehru , all lined up for the grand final.The scene burst into Eastman color, the sky stretched to cinemascope . Gandhiji tapped his cane to the tune of the music, first at his feet , then at me , then at Mumtaj, then at the explosions above the red fort.I turned into shahenshah Mughal-E-Azam Shah Jahan, Rintu winked under the red and gold bridal regalia of Mumtaj.I looked down at Darya Ganj. For a moment I simply stared at Old Delhi. Trying to digest what happened.Flashes illuminated the arches of the fort as cannons being fired in salute from behind the wall. Lyrics of Tansen swelled up around us once again.
Cut to 2010. Perhaps I actually dozed off at the backseat in the JN stadium. Perhaps the karims lunch at Darya Ganj was little intoxicating. Rintu jolted me awake.CWG opening ceremony lights are fading off. Prince 'Shah Jahan' Charles and his Mumtaj along with Kalmadi 'Chacha' going down off the VIP enclave. Bapu went back into the 'Gandhi note', still smiling. Back at home , I fell asleep with the Tansen lyrics still swirling in my ears -
'Lat's go
Jiyo utho badho jeeto
Tera mera Jahaan let's go
Oh yaaron, yeh India bulaa liya
Diwaano yehIndia bulaa liya...bulaa liya'
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Obsession !!
Did something pull you back when you tried to avoid your favourite food joint? or your favourite drink? or your expensive favourite brand? or your favourite gadget? Did you ever try to come out of these obsession? Only to get back to your old routine after a few days of break. Continued the cycle on and off and every time turned out to be a big loser. Then you are suffering from one psychological disease. A kind of lethal addiction - in modern psychology it is - ' Obsessive Compulsive Disorder'.
Readers please note - the disease is terribly infectious and in most of the cases people get infected from their friends. So if you have any such friend , beaware of him , might be you are already infected. But always better late than never , so first kick them out.
'Exposure theory' is one good treatment - get exposed to your obsession - have enough of the toxics till the point they bore you , till the point you feel pukey at any hint of them, till the point you feel sick of them. But what if you simply can't live without KFC even after buckets of them ? What if you simply can't concentrate on your work without a compulsive sutta break? What if you cann't pass a 'dry weekend' after days of booze party? What if you simply cann't stop buying a new gadget on your pay day? For you 'exposure theory' alone wouldn't suffice - you need advanced detoxication - try 'Shock therapy'. Ask your friend to do you a favor - a kick on the ass or a Rs 500/- fine next time you visit a KFC outlet or a gadget shop. And if you don't have such good friends then help yourself - ride one nearby lamppost and 'chu ke ana' one live wire ;)
What if even 'Shock Therapy' fails to tame your crazy obsession? You need serious medical surgery. Doctors will remove parts of your hypothalamus where all these evil obsessions germinate round the clock.Want to do it yourself? Recall those days in biological lab when you had to pith the poor frog's brain before finding its digestive system. Now do it once again . Your crazy head in place of the frog. You can use a bigger nail than you used in the lab.
If you didn't like these crazy techniques and wondering if Jake already has screwed (read pithed) up his brain , then here is one decent way-out for you - 'pranayama' and 'art of living'. Might be tough for someone who is too obsessed with his crazy disorder but Rintu has shown the way. After few sessions of 'Tadpole Pranayama' and 'Art of living' he is on his way to complete healing. A two weeks of 'dry crash diet ' is a testimony to that. Long live Rintu :) Lets go party tonight :):)
Readers please note - the disease is terribly infectious and in most of the cases people get infected from their friends. So if you have any such friend , beaware of him , might be you are already infected. But always better late than never , so first kick them out.
'Exposure theory' is one good treatment - get exposed to your obsession - have enough of the toxics till the point they bore you , till the point you feel pukey at any hint of them, till the point you feel sick of them. But what if you simply can't live without KFC even after buckets of them ? What if you simply can't concentrate on your work without a compulsive sutta break? What if you cann't pass a 'dry weekend' after days of booze party? What if you simply cann't stop buying a new gadget on your pay day? For you 'exposure theory' alone wouldn't suffice - you need advanced detoxication - try 'Shock therapy'. Ask your friend to do you a favor - a kick on the ass or a Rs 500/- fine next time you visit a KFC outlet or a gadget shop. And if you don't have such good friends then help yourself - ride one nearby lamppost and 'chu ke ana' one live wire ;)
What if even 'Shock Therapy' fails to tame your crazy obsession? You need serious medical surgery. Doctors will remove parts of your hypothalamus where all these evil obsessions germinate round the clock.Want to do it yourself? Recall those days in biological lab when you had to pith the poor frog's brain before finding its digestive system. Now do it once again . Your crazy head in place of the frog. You can use a bigger nail than you used in the lab.
If you didn't like these crazy techniques and wondering if Jake already has screwed (read pithed) up his brain , then here is one decent way-out for you - 'pranayama' and 'art of living'. Might be tough for someone who is too obsessed with his crazy disorder but Rintu has shown the way. After few sessions of 'Tadpole Pranayama' and 'Art of living' he is on his way to complete healing. A two weeks of 'dry crash diet ' is a testimony to that. Long live Rintu :) Lets go party tonight :):)
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Wat I've done !!!
Rintu is fed up with his job. 'Its not worth taking pain anymore , rather its time to get out of this limbo' - Rintu is waiting for 'the kick'. He has been trying to switch , where he will have a better job , higher salary , less work and hopefully a cool boss. Till date Rintu applied for dozens of interviews and most of them never even cared to send him an acknowledgement , let alone interview calls. So Rintu was over excited when he got the face to face round invitation. Just before the interview boss called him - 'Boss calling' sparked a wicked smile on his face , as if 'watching you calling for one last time!!!'. Rintu made the clishe 'bahana' once again - 'not feeling well' and said he would get the work done by Monday. And then laughed for half an hour imagining how his boss would piss off when he would submit his resignation or throw it at his face on Monday. 'Sometimes whole life people wait for one Special day and one day - its the next Monday' - Rintu said when I called him.
Little did I know that for me one 'special day' had already being arrived. I didn't wait my whole life but for quite a long time I had been waiting , for the client feedback for 008B study that was completed months back. Since the day I realised the big blunder I made , I kept my fingers crossed.
'So mercy cooome...
And Waaash awayyy...
Whaaat I have dooone!!!' - I used to pray.
Dooms day came once again as luck played another prank on me , nothing escaped from their x-ray eyes. So I was called upon. Soon two reviewers joined in - and then first time I looked at the bug. 'Being queried' was getting displayed in the reports where it should have been some 'SOC' name instead - like 'head' , 'nose' or 'tail'. I felt a strong sense of 'deja-vu' as if I had gone through the scene earlier , infact every time when feedback comes we repeat the same scene and sequence of events. Now I got immuned to this panic attack, to its 'unspoken hostility radiation' as well. Though I knew the bug reason I didn't share it with others. Rather I was amused watching people scratching head to find the 'causal'. Somebody executed few utility codes, The 'Star Of The Month' girl joined in. Followed by a boy who recently got a 'Pat On The Back'. At one point of time total eight to ten people were glued to the screen , completely absorved into those boring reports as if 'Inception two' got released and Leonardo into the screen , this time hipnotizing the audience into his dream world. I wished a twilight vampire would jump off the screen and scream at them 'BOOOOO', or the 'Inception highway train' would come crashing through the screen and zoom past the crowd. More utilities, more experts joined in, poor system couldn't survive so much of attention , it got hanged.
I wondered if after 'pat on the back' management would launch another 'special appreciation' on this 'special day' - 'kick on the ass'. I wondered whom they would ask to do 'the kick' , sorted out different combinations and was fascinated at the thought that our ex -security manager with her red-yellow-green socks and fancy high heel shoes doing the honour. My reverie cut short as Project Manager (PM) joined in. ' Jake , I don't expect this kind of small mistakes from a resource of your experience' as if he would be happy if there were few more awkward terms , like 'being resolved' , 'being queried again', 'being resolver after' - along with the 'small' 'being queried' term. My boss was standing nearby , looked like someone waiting to be sacrificed, listened to my PM's instructions with bowed head. Next a 'shok sabha' (team meeting) was called in to mourn the '008B Shaheed divas'. As per the mandate from PMO (Project Manager Office), all the delivered studies were to be called back to do a recheck.
After the horrible day I consoled myself with the thought that Rintu must had pulled through the interview and something good must had been waiting for me at the end of the day. So I called Rintu to get the update. Asked - how was the interview and where was the party. But Rintu was badly screwed - messed up all mechanical fundas and there was no way that they would call him again. The long yearned 'kick' didn't come and Rintu was kicked out. Nope...altogether a 'Black Friday'. But quite an eventful day with lots of bizarre thoughts - the 'novelty factor' was awesome and I loved it.
Little did I know that for me one 'special day' had already being arrived. I didn't wait my whole life but for quite a long time I had been waiting , for the client feedback for 008B study that was completed months back. Since the day I realised the big blunder I made , I kept my fingers crossed.
'So mercy cooome...
And Waaash awayyy...
Whaaat I have dooone!!!' - I used to pray.
Dooms day came once again as luck played another prank on me , nothing escaped from their x-ray eyes. So I was called upon. Soon two reviewers joined in - and then first time I looked at the bug. 'Being queried' was getting displayed in the reports where it should have been some 'SOC' name instead - like 'head' , 'nose' or 'tail'. I felt a strong sense of 'deja-vu' as if I had gone through the scene earlier , infact every time when feedback comes we repeat the same scene and sequence of events. Now I got immuned to this panic attack, to its 'unspoken hostility radiation' as well. Though I knew the bug reason I didn't share it with others. Rather I was amused watching people scratching head to find the 'causal'. Somebody executed few utility codes, The 'Star Of The Month' girl joined in. Followed by a boy who recently got a 'Pat On The Back'. At one point of time total eight to ten people were glued to the screen , completely absorved into those boring reports as if 'Inception two' got released and Leonardo into the screen , this time hipnotizing the audience into his dream world. I wished a twilight vampire would jump off the screen and scream at them 'BOOOOO', or the 'Inception highway train' would come crashing through the screen and zoom past the crowd. More utilities, more experts joined in, poor system couldn't survive so much of attention , it got hanged.
I wondered if after 'pat on the back' management would launch another 'special appreciation' on this 'special day' - 'kick on the ass'. I wondered whom they would ask to do 'the kick' , sorted out different combinations and was fascinated at the thought that our ex -security manager with her red-yellow-green socks and fancy high heel shoes doing the honour. My reverie cut short as Project Manager (PM) joined in. ' Jake , I don't expect this kind of small mistakes from a resource of your experience' as if he would be happy if there were few more awkward terms , like 'being resolved' , 'being queried again', 'being resolver after' - along with the 'small' 'being queried' term. My boss was standing nearby , looked like someone waiting to be sacrificed, listened to my PM's instructions with bowed head. Next a 'shok sabha' (team meeting) was called in to mourn the '008B Shaheed divas'. As per the mandate from PMO (Project Manager Office), all the delivered studies were to be called back to do a recheck.
After the horrible day I consoled myself with the thought that Rintu must had pulled through the interview and something good must had been waiting for me at the end of the day. So I called Rintu to get the update. Asked - how was the interview and where was the party. But Rintu was badly screwed - messed up all mechanical fundas and there was no way that they would call him again. The long yearned 'kick' didn't come and Rintu was kicked out. Nope...altogether a 'Black Friday'. But quite an eventful day with lots of bizarre thoughts - the 'novelty factor' was awesome and I loved it.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
We Hate Love Stories
Imagine a boy who was brought up in a family where most of the people simply abhorred 'love stories'.In father's side the 'strike rate' was almost zero , where in mother's side there were plenty of love stories but very few of them managed to get the 'prized tag' - 'and they happily lived ever after'. In this mixed environment the boy encountered the first love story when he was in school , in 8th standard most probably , when his college going brother picked up his 'dulhaniya' and married her in a nearby church.They managed to keep the secret under 'ghunghat' for around one week but all hell broke loose as soon as the 'goodnews' started doing rounds . One thing led to another and the girl's family registered police case as if the boy's family had planned to kidnap the girl. The love story had its instant tragic end there and 'Tito' was disillutioned from love stories for life.
Sandy comes next. He was in love with his 'next door Masakali girl' whom he used to meet over the terrace every afternoon. They used to chat for hours , under the moon and starry nights , till her parents were back home.So on Valentines day he wrote an emotional note - excerpts from the note -
' Dear chandramukhi ,
......................
you mean a lot to me......I will get you the moon..get you the stars..take you out for a walk in the clouds.............
..............................
...............................
..............................
Tumhe kaise maya bataun/ keya maya paa gaya hoo/ Tum jo mere sath ho/
mujhko duniya mil gayi hai /Zindagi badal gayi hai/ Tum jo mere sath ho....'
He claims few linew from his valentine notes were later copied by one Shankar Mahadevan;).Anyway he got the reply withing one week . It was her marriage invitation card. Sandy was depressed , for days he lost the meaning of his life , even he wished to kill himself - what's the point in living in this cruel world where nobody care for his love. His good buddies came on his rescue. They suggested - there would be a better impact if he did his 'Payar ki kurbani' on the day the girl would get married.Point taken and the boy took control of his 'irrational imotion' for few days. But on the day when the girl was getting married he simply refused to oblige to his promise - might be got back into his rational mind and became the second member of our ' we hate love stories gang'.
Next comes Rondu - used to be the smartest dude among us - never had any dearth of girlfriends - though we always had doubt whom they liked more , Rondu or his Ford ikon. He even dated with three girls on the same weekend - in different time-slots. When we asked he used to say - 'its all fun yaar - after all khelne me hi to maza haya' And we were jealous of him. But he perished. Had to get married to his 9th girlfriend - who turned out to be the daughter of city's Police commissioner. There was no way out. How he hated to get married but he had to marry a girl whom he least liked , whom he dated for some fun and there was no dowry story. Poor Rondu must wanted to kill himself. Now Rondu got a new name - 'Jiju' -'love you Jiju :)' and yes he is in our 'we hate love stories' gang.
Gagu comes last to share his expert suggestions and lesson learnings . Hi Gagu:)..He just went through a painful break-up and it was his first 'true love'- that is what he claims. As per Gagu 'True love' happens when it drives you 'out of your mind' and makes you crazy when the story ends. You know the pain of watching your first love getting engaged - Gagu actually went through that. Recently he deleated all the romantic memories and movies from his hard-disks. He said - I don't get why people waste time watching 'love stories' like 'Titanic' or 'Casablanca' - there is no 'action' - only 'ronadhona'. How can people waste time watching romantic movies where hero dies at the end or let go the heroine with the 'Villain'. His advice to all the budding lovers - never get stuck to one girl , its too risky , because if break-up happens you will die , so always have back-up plans;). For him love is some 'adrenaline rush' which if goes out of hand even 1.75 liter Johnny Walker might not be enough to cool it off. So guys dont be cupid , better stay away from all 'intoxicating callings' and keep singing
'I don't need you/
don't wanna see you/
you get no love/
I hate love stories' .
Long live boys:)
Friday, June 11, 2010
Intejaaaar Kab Tak !!!!!!!!
Ajmal Kasab is not happy now-a-days.He checked his 'happiness index' in 'Times Wellness' and found it was quite low.Its not that authorities have revoked his VIP Z++ security status, or they are not taking proper care for him, in fact they are pampering him too much. Now he can read and write english - even he is regularly reading Times of India and The Dawn. Recently he also started reading 'Twilight' saga and just finished first four parts upto 'Breaking Dawn' - and eagerly waiting for the last part that has just released.Not that he is quite a fan of Stephenie Meyer, Bella , Jacob or Edward but he is quite fond of vampire romance stories.During his 'Jihad' training days his 'Guruji' used to tell him - after their 'kurbaani' in 'Jihad' 'Mujahids' turn to vampires and girls like Bella wait for them at 'Jannat'. But unfortunately his journey to 'Jannat' got delayed and now congress is delaying it further.So he is not in good mood now-a-days.
Recently he started following 'Bhopal gas tragedy ' saga in 'Times of India' and he is getting irritated again.For killing fifteen thousand people and injuring over twenty thousand , eight people got only two years imprisonment , they were even out on bail in the next moment.He doesn't understand why he was given death sentence for killing 15/20 people. Anyway he didn't mind - he didn't cry inside the court rather he was happy, laughed and even cracked a few jokes until he was scolded by the judge - all he could see was his way to 'Jannat' again.
He didn't mind either when the main accused - CEO of Union Carbide Warren Anderson - was not convicted. Even his guruji was not convicted after 26/11 Mumbai attack.Its the people who are 'been there and done that' deserve the credit, not their gurujies.
He was amused after reading CBI was send to extradite the CEO from US. And almost laughed after reading CBI is currently in US to find out Richard Headley. He said - send CBI to Pakistan to find out my 'Guruji' - they will hijack the plane as soon as it lands Karachi and will demand my release....hhehehe
Madhya Pradesh chief minister at the time of Bhopal tragedy Arjun Singh said - he had to let off the 'gora saheb' because he feared a public attack on the gentleman. Kasab found him very intelligent , full of practical knowledge . He wished Arjun Singh was Maharashtra CM when he was caught by Mumbai police.
All the accused even threatened to pursue the case in higher court and Supreme court.Here also Kasab can read their mind - if it takes 26 years to get the verdict from a lower court it will not take less than a lifetime to get it through Higher court and Supreme court. Kasab is lucky here, for him everything was complete in 6 months. But 'Soniyaji' and 'Pratibha dadi' are still not convinced , they are saying it would hurt Muslim sentiments but Kasab thinks may be they are planning to send him for another mission. This time he will demand better facilities - less 'dud grenades' and a better AK47. Last time his machine got stuck when he was at work , or he would score fifteen thousand at CST itself.
Recently Kasab joined Facebook and first he made friendship with 'Soniyaji' - just to know ' Whats on her mind'. And her recent facebook update - 'Soniya Gandhi and Mamta Banarjee' are now friends' - Kasab had no idea who the 'Mamta Banarjee' was, his guess, may be her new daughter-in-law - making friendship with 'sasuma' after watching 'saas vi kavi bahu thi' - he used to watch it at his nana's place.
Next update - Soniya likes italian coach Fabio Filippo's booze ban on English players in world cup.Kasab likes it. He can remember how numb he felt after the booze party just after their initial victory at Taj.He can remember how his guruji used to tell him - never indulge in worldly pleasures or you will never get a place at 'Jannat'. He made the mistake once and now was denied the early jannat entry visa :(
His eyes almost fixed after reading British Petrolium (BP) is in trouble after spewing oil at Gulf of Mexico and killing dozens of fishes. Barack Obama and US Marines even threatened to drop a nuke if BP fails to tame the spill. Dropping nuke for killing fish!!!! But he liked the attitude. He wish Obama was there in place of 'Pratibha Dadi'. Then he would have finished first part of his vampire-romance at Jannat by this time.Kasab sent a friend request to Barack Obama in Facebook.
Now dear readers, if you are getting irritated as Kasab is being too much pampered and enjoying too much at the expense of public money , here is one thing you can do.'Hang Kasab Yourself' is a videogame recently launched in the market . Try it out and send Kasab one CD. He will keep himself busy in his 'Jannat' dream , at least he will not irritate others in Facebook:) . And don't forget to write your comments as Kasab is very particular to know 'What's on your mind' as well ;-)
Recently he started following 'Bhopal gas tragedy ' saga in 'Times of India' and he is getting irritated again.For killing fifteen thousand people and injuring over twenty thousand , eight people got only two years imprisonment , they were even out on bail in the next moment.He doesn't understand why he was given death sentence for killing 15/20 people. Anyway he didn't mind - he didn't cry inside the court rather he was happy, laughed and even cracked a few jokes until he was scolded by the judge - all he could see was his way to 'Jannat' again.
He didn't mind either when the main accused - CEO of Union Carbide Warren Anderson - was not convicted. Even his guruji was not convicted after 26/11 Mumbai attack.Its the people who are 'been there and done that' deserve the credit, not their gurujies.
He was amused after reading CBI was send to extradite the CEO from US. And almost laughed after reading CBI is currently in US to find out Richard Headley. He said - send CBI to Pakistan to find out my 'Guruji' - they will hijack the plane as soon as it lands Karachi and will demand my release....hhehehe
Madhya Pradesh chief minister at the time of Bhopal tragedy Arjun Singh said - he had to let off the 'gora saheb' because he feared a public attack on the gentleman. Kasab found him very intelligent , full of practical knowledge . He wished Arjun Singh was Maharashtra CM when he was caught by Mumbai police.
All the accused even threatened to pursue the case in higher court and Supreme court.Here also Kasab can read their mind - if it takes 26 years to get the verdict from a lower court it will not take less than a lifetime to get it through Higher court and Supreme court. Kasab is lucky here, for him everything was complete in 6 months. But 'Soniyaji' and 'Pratibha dadi' are still not convinced , they are saying it would hurt Muslim sentiments but Kasab thinks may be they are planning to send him for another mission. This time he will demand better facilities - less 'dud grenades' and a better AK47. Last time his machine got stuck when he was at work , or he would score fifteen thousand at CST itself.
Recently Kasab joined Facebook and first he made friendship with 'Soniyaji' - just to know ' Whats on her mind'. And her recent facebook update - 'Soniya Gandhi and Mamta Banarjee' are now friends' - Kasab had no idea who the 'Mamta Banarjee' was, his guess, may be her new daughter-in-law - making friendship with 'sasuma' after watching 'saas vi kavi bahu thi' - he used to watch it at his nana's place.
Next update - Soniya likes italian coach Fabio Filippo's booze ban on English players in world cup.Kasab likes it. He can remember how numb he felt after the booze party just after their initial victory at Taj.He can remember how his guruji used to tell him - never indulge in worldly pleasures or you will never get a place at 'Jannat'. He made the mistake once and now was denied the early jannat entry visa :(
His eyes almost fixed after reading British Petrolium (BP) is in trouble after spewing oil at Gulf of Mexico and killing dozens of fishes. Barack Obama and US Marines even threatened to drop a nuke if BP fails to tame the spill. Dropping nuke for killing fish!!!! But he liked the attitude. He wish Obama was there in place of 'Pratibha Dadi'. Then he would have finished first part of his vampire-romance at Jannat by this time.Kasab sent a friend request to Barack Obama in Facebook.
Now dear readers, if you are getting irritated as Kasab is being too much pampered and enjoying too much at the expense of public money , here is one thing you can do.'Hang Kasab Yourself' is a videogame recently launched in the market . Try it out and send Kasab one CD. He will keep himself busy in his 'Jannat' dream , at least he will not irritate others in Facebook:) . And don't forget to write your comments as Kasab is very particular to know 'What's on your mind' as well ;-)
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Ice Cubes
My last blog stirred serious 'people talking'
People asked if blogging about my boss is my 'newfound hobby'.
Friends enquired if I had become a psycho or worst ever - a potential sadist ;)
Someone even teased if I had a crush on her 'curly hair'.
Some colleagues wondered what our security manager would do had she been there watching Pankaj listening ' dil se' or me with a 160 GB iPod inside ODC. I guess she would try something different than her usual naughty look and fake warnings .This time she might try to raise the issue to CEO , keeping all the board members in CC and all the company shareholders and all her friends in bcc ;)
And the general public demand was - take out a print and paste it inside her cubicle.I wish I could.
Next , my pretty boss was leaving Delhi and moving to Pune.I wrote on her farewell card - 'days will never be the same :-) ' - hope she noticed the smiley ;). Definitely for me the worst was over. But I felt bad for the poor chaps who would work under her :-( . My sympathy will always be with them.
Now , its party time - my b'day celebration - the best b'day ever.
Lets start with those days when I was looking for a party dress and went to lifestyle Mall with Rintu when it was about to be closed, we were politely asked to vacate the place.Next hunt was at Peter england , but we didn't get anything of 'Our standard' ;) . It was getting late and most of the shops were already closed. Heartbroken , we went inside a sweet shop.We chilled out in AC , watched tv, had 'days special' sweets , when we realised - none of us have any cash and they don't accept any card. I came out fast , actually wanted to visit the nearby ATM, but Rintu got scared and followed me even faster , the boy at the shop got it all wrong and started shouting - 'Paisa paisa' - when the watchman started tapping feet and crowd started turning heads , there was no point in looking back , we just escaped and mingled in the crowd. But it was not over.
We went back there after half an hour - again chilled out in AC , watched TV , had few more 'days special ' but this time they closed the door once we got inside.We paid whatever the bill was, including the last bill amount , Rintu even bargained with the boy.Not a bad day altogether - at least we had some fun at the end.
On 27th night I had usual b'day bumps and my roomies smashed tomato all over my head , sounds weird , actually they were looking for stale eggs , but not a single was left, so they had to manage with tomatoes.Next it was my turn.It was Rintu's b'day as well and I had to return him the favor - tomatoes were finished and I used gulabjamuns I bought for my colleagues , pasted those all over his face.Guys , now you know what happened to your gulabjamuns and why there were only traces of jamuns in bits and pieces in the sweet packet ;)
On 28th , got the first wish message at around 6:30 , reminded me it was by b'day and started the day unusually early. At office among my old buddied 'Govinda' called me - not 'Chote Miya' from Mumbai - it was my NITC buddy from Pune.We had a long chat - he wished me happy b'day , appreciated my job(lol) and in the end even appreciated my hindi - love you buddy:-) .My colleagues might not stop loughing but the fact is - first time in last three years somebody appreciated my Hindi speaking skill :)
Got call even from my NRI friends. 'Gagu' was obviously on booze - said it was 50$ Johny Walker - might be also on some other stuffs and was speaking more expletives than words. But I never mind - love those friends who call me after being sloshed , they speak their hearts out , he cried a lot for his lost love , you know the pain of watching your first love getting engaged - he was actually going through that - so I never mind.
Then it was party time @ Ice Cubes.Initially was offered a drop from one of my dear colleagues who changed her mind in the end and told me she had to leave early . I guess somebody told her Hrithik had come to GIP and flying kites over the terrace.He indeed came there last Sunday , to beg to his fans 'Kaho naa - payar haya' - after his 'kites' went 'cutti' at box office ;)
At ice cubes it was all masti , music, games and dance.Got my b'day gift along with another two rounds of b'day bumps there.Games were a bit weird - guy with longest hair, guy with most colourful socks , guy with maximum number of rings - wondering what they were looking for - a born psycho or a guy with a crazy style statement.
Next dinner time. We nonvegetarians had a gala time over there.Even a typical veggy Pankaj, who never missed an opportunity of playing pranks on nonvegetarians - tried few boneleass chickens and started complimenting - never had a better spicy paneer curry ever .I wished he would try some mushroom (mutton) curry as well - mutton bones as mushroom sticks - when somebody revealed him the truth and congratulated him as he had joined the elite 'nonveg league' - 'the saviours of food chain' , but he was shocked and feeling pukey , went straight to washroom and didn't come out till the party was over.
Now its time to go home.Bye bye Ice Cubes.Love you all.Kudos to all your energy.Cheers to her farewell, cheers to our end of sufferings and thanks to all of you for making my b'day so special.
People asked if blogging about my boss is my 'newfound hobby'.
Friends enquired if I had become a psycho or worst ever - a potential sadist ;)
Someone even teased if I had a crush on her 'curly hair'.
Some colleagues wondered what our security manager would do had she been there watching Pankaj listening ' dil se' or me with a 160 GB iPod inside ODC. I guess she would try something different than her usual naughty look and fake warnings .This time she might try to raise the issue to CEO , keeping all the board members in CC and all the company shareholders and all her friends in bcc ;)
And the general public demand was - take out a print and paste it inside her cubicle.I wish I could.
Next , my pretty boss was leaving Delhi and moving to Pune.I wrote on her farewell card - 'days will never be the same :-) ' - hope she noticed the smiley ;). Definitely for me the worst was over. But I felt bad for the poor chaps who would work under her :-( . My sympathy will always be with them.
Now , its party time - my b'day celebration - the best b'day ever.
Lets start with those days when I was looking for a party dress and went to lifestyle Mall with Rintu when it was about to be closed, we were politely asked to vacate the place.Next hunt was at Peter england , but we didn't get anything of 'Our standard' ;) . It was getting late and most of the shops were already closed. Heartbroken , we went inside a sweet shop.We chilled out in AC , watched tv, had 'days special' sweets , when we realised - none of us have any cash and they don't accept any card. I came out fast , actually wanted to visit the nearby ATM, but Rintu got scared and followed me even faster , the boy at the shop got it all wrong and started shouting - 'Paisa paisa' - when the watchman started tapping feet and crowd started turning heads , there was no point in looking back , we just escaped and mingled in the crowd. But it was not over.
We went back there after half an hour - again chilled out in AC , watched TV , had few more 'days special ' but this time they closed the door once we got inside.We paid whatever the bill was, including the last bill amount , Rintu even bargained with the boy.Not a bad day altogether - at least we had some fun at the end.
On 27th night I had usual b'day bumps and my roomies smashed tomato all over my head , sounds weird , actually they were looking for stale eggs , but not a single was left, so they had to manage with tomatoes.Next it was my turn.It was Rintu's b'day as well and I had to return him the favor - tomatoes were finished and I used gulabjamuns I bought for my colleagues , pasted those all over his face.Guys , now you know what happened to your gulabjamuns and why there were only traces of jamuns in bits and pieces in the sweet packet ;)
On 28th , got the first wish message at around 6:30 , reminded me it was by b'day and started the day unusually early. At office among my old buddied 'Govinda' called me - not 'Chote Miya' from Mumbai - it was my NITC buddy from Pune.We had a long chat - he wished me happy b'day , appreciated my job(lol) and in the end even appreciated my hindi - love you buddy:-) .My colleagues might not stop loughing but the fact is - first time in last three years somebody appreciated my Hindi speaking skill :)
Got call even from my NRI friends. 'Gagu' was obviously on booze - said it was 50$ Johny Walker - might be also on some other stuffs and was speaking more expletives than words. But I never mind - love those friends who call me after being sloshed , they speak their hearts out , he cried a lot for his lost love , you know the pain of watching your first love getting engaged - he was actually going through that - so I never mind.
Then it was party time @ Ice Cubes.Initially was offered a drop from one of my dear colleagues who changed her mind in the end and told me she had to leave early . I guess somebody told her Hrithik had come to GIP and flying kites over the terrace.He indeed came there last Sunday , to beg to his fans 'Kaho naa - payar haya' - after his 'kites' went 'cutti' at box office ;)
At ice cubes it was all masti , music, games and dance.Got my b'day gift along with another two rounds of b'day bumps there.Games were a bit weird - guy with longest hair, guy with most colourful socks , guy with maximum number of rings - wondering what they were looking for - a born psycho or a guy with a crazy style statement.
Next dinner time. We nonvegetarians had a gala time over there.Even a typical veggy Pankaj, who never missed an opportunity of playing pranks on nonvegetarians - tried few boneleass chickens and started complimenting - never had a better spicy paneer curry ever .I wished he would try some mushroom (mutton) curry as well - mutton bones as mushroom sticks - when somebody revealed him the truth and congratulated him as he had joined the elite 'nonveg league' - 'the saviours of food chain' , but he was shocked and feeling pukey , went straight to washroom and didn't come out till the party was over.
Now its time to go home.Bye bye Ice Cubes.Love you all.Kudos to all your energy.Cheers to her farewell, cheers to our end of sufferings and thanks to all of you for making my b'day so special.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Weekend Office-Crush
Friday after-lunch hours are really awful.You don't feel like doing any work but you cant leave the office .Staring at the desktop , checking mails , chatting in sametime , counting seconds are few activities I like to pass the dreadful after-lunch hours .But last friday I couldn't take it any longer after 4.30.So I went straight to my boss who was staring at the desktop , checking mail , chatting in sametime (may b counting seconds also)...and asked permission to leave early.One good thing was - she never asked me the reason .Never even in earlier instances when I had to leave early - assumed that I had been late for a date, and I like it. Not because she counts me worth enough to be a punctual boyfriend but because I was spared to make petty excuses like headache or feeling pukey.And those were few rare moments when I found her 'Understanding' and 'Not-That-Idiot'.
So she said - Jacob , I don't mind if you leave early today, for whatever reason, but we neeed to deliver 008B by next Thursday , looking at the current status do you feel like we would be able to meet the deadline ? How I hated that 008B study, more disgusting than even my pretty boss. I wish that study would never get FDA approval. But she didn't wait for my answer.She asked me to come in the weekends. Spoiling the weekend for leaving 1 hour early on friday - that irritated me to no end. I would have killed that dumb idiot. I said in that case I had no issues to stay back till 6.15 but the damage was already being made. She was in no mood to change her mind.
So next saturday I was in the office - at around 1.30 in the afternoon. And by God's grace there was no network connection. But I was angry rather being happy. My pretty boss got the news in the morning itself but she never felt the need to inform me. How I wished to go over her place , pull her by her curly hair and tie her to a lamppost under the sun - to let her feel the pain it takes to come to office in a blistering steamy day.
Nothing to do, so we had some fun. As Pankaj rightly said , we all had come to 'Maje lene' . Pankaj listened to 'DIL SE' from my iPod , was very amazed when heard it cost 15.2 k, but I was happy when that 'dilwale' offered me a drop. So I was back to home in next 1 hour and my weekend office-crush was over - but not before cursing my dumb boss till I lost words.
So she said - Jacob , I don't mind if you leave early today, for whatever reason, but we neeed to deliver 008B by next Thursday , looking at the current status do you feel like we would be able to meet the deadline ? How I hated that 008B study, more disgusting than even my pretty boss. I wish that study would never get FDA approval. But she didn't wait for my answer.She asked me to come in the weekends. Spoiling the weekend for leaving 1 hour early on friday - that irritated me to no end. I would have killed that dumb idiot. I said in that case I had no issues to stay back till 6.15 but the damage was already being made. She was in no mood to change her mind.
So next saturday I was in the office - at around 1.30 in the afternoon. And by God's grace there was no network connection. But I was angry rather being happy. My pretty boss got the news in the morning itself but she never felt the need to inform me. How I wished to go over her place , pull her by her curly hair and tie her to a lamppost under the sun - to let her feel the pain it takes to come to office in a blistering steamy day.
Nothing to do, so we had some fun. As Pankaj rightly said , we all had come to 'Maje lene' . Pankaj listened to 'DIL SE' from my iPod , was very amazed when heard it cost 15.2 k, but I was happy when that 'dilwale' offered me a drop. So I was back to home in next 1 hour and my weekend office-crush was over - but not before cursing my dumb boss till I lost words.
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